it was a little before eleven, as i sat on the mat in the living room, with Xiao Ting sitting on my lap. she likes to spend time just curled up beside me at night. i would always scare her off by saying i am watching zombies/ghost/horror movies " but i just want to be with you..." she would retort. "and please don't watch ghost movies la.... please la...." such pretense. :P

she is at the age right now where she worships me. i am this barbie adult, with grace and intelligence, plus dresses, bags and high heels to wear everyday. but of course, next year she would turn into her big sister with her own little clique of bffs who wouldn't stop phoning/FB each other for gossips.

then, the mobile rang.

She: guess what?
Me : wat?
She: my day was ruined.
Me : what happen?
She: i was having a rather pleasant day doing retail therapy in mid valley this morning until...
Me : ...
She: until i met XXX.
Me : and?
She: he asked me whether i have a boyfriend.
Me : what did you say?
She: i said "no". but then i succumbed into this deep dark depression.
Me : ...
She: but the first thing that came to my mind was.... how glad i am to have had a meeting this morning so that i have on a rather nice ensemble.
Me : ... and what has that got to do with this...
She: ... AT LEAST i was standing in front of him not appearing like some lonely old maid, i was presentable and capable of doing my shopping ALONE.
Me : right.
She: it has been 12 years since we graduated... how depressing can that be.
Me : ah... 12 years already?!...ahh.... i am so old now.

suddenly, xiao ting turn her head around and look at me with the most defiant expression....

Ting: gugu, you are NOT old!

i was astounded by her sudden little outburst of concern. little rascal, she was eavesdropping on my phone conversation. :P but she appears to be genuinely worried. well, she does always say my mom is old (to my mom's horror). and she refuses that i call myself old. maybe she associates old == death. i do admit i abuse the word far too often.

arrh.... she could be such an angel at times (to be precise, usually at late nights when she's half awake/half asleep). and then i would hug her and kiss her until she hates me again. :)

kids say the darnest thing. they would say i love you, to which they really mean it. even if it's only for 5 minutes. they really do, love you. for that 5 minutes.

for now. i am content with that 5 minutes. for we know, love comes in fleeting moments. and tonight, this is my moment.

just got back from the MPO with this buzzing in my head.

having Ravel - Daphnis et Chloé played out live six feet away from one is overwhelming. i swear at one point i had to hold back my tears. really have to forgive me getting all emotional, this comes with aging. *cough*

most of all, i am just glad to have experienced tonight's wonderful french dreams with fei. she is an aspiring pianist... maybe one day she will be playing Beethoven on a stage ( i love romantic pieces more though ). never too old. never. :P

a good night. and we just realised how dark our eye circles are. how deep our smile lines are. how double-chined we are. how bad our make up skills are. alas, this is the best i can do with bumping up the contrast of the photo. build in flash + night + 2 extremely hot woman.

p/s: we do look like being Photoshop-ed on an bad postcard.

they were enemies at home. but just like any professional politician, they put on their smiley faces, hands on the shoulder of the other, faces close to each other, and posing for the camera.

Bobo (the dog) is depressed, mainly due to being neglected and unloved by the members of the household. but here, the children, again, put on their poker faces, hands gently stroking the dog, pretending to play with the dog, and posing for the camera.


now. aren't they adorable?

arhhhh.... we are allowed to day dream sometimes right? the cement walls... the red retro fridge... the huge glass window, the industrial feel but yet so warmly personal... don't you just love it? looking at this makes me happy.

by the way, as i was walking back to class after dinner tonight, the phone rang and i reached out into my bag for it.... only to find out that it's not my phone, but in fact a ring which belongs to a foreign labour worker walking just pass me at the time.

so, how does it make you feel when you have the same ring tone as a foreign labour worker? i don't want to discriminate, but i have a feeling that my current social status has just taken a dive...

what's worse? that i secretly despise this? or that i have no intention what-so-ever to change the ringtone, or rather this prehistoric candy bar phone that belongs to my mom?

i was very late to class today. the excuse... i was out and about for the weekend and was exhausted and deprived of some quality sleep. ya. i am just old.

so, stepping into class @ 12:30 pm only to find there's 10 people there. oh... was everybody else having a busy weekend?

after lunch, Merlyn and a few others checked in and i asked.

"why so late?"

"oh... we only went to bed at 6am this morning."

"what happen?"

"... Devin pengsan yesterday in the computer room and they sent him to the hospital...."

"oh my... is he okay?"

"yeah. he's fine now. he couldn't remember. he was kinda.... dirasuk..."

"??!!...."

so the story went like this. Anuar and Devin were at the computer room yesterday until around 1am. then Devin stopped typing on the keyboard, got up, walked towards the front of the room, turned back. and lay down on the floor. Anuar asked what is he doing. no reply. then A thought D was joking.

then A said he wants to leave. D still with his back on the floor, eyes open. thinking this is a practical joke, A then switched off the lights and went outside. after waiting for a few minutes outside the room, A began to worry, went back in the room only to find D still laying on the floor. Then A realised that D is not faking, called other classmates staying in the hostel for help, the teacher came and send D to the hospital.

the doctor couldn't diagnose what went wrong but D regained his consciousness and they all returned to the hostel after a few hours.

the scary part now is.... everyone who stayed up in the computer room at night has claimed to hear voices. keyboard typing, notebooks flipping, wall knocking etc... and one of the girls who went to help out said she saw a white shadow beside D when they were carrying him from the building. *shiver*

just the other night, Merlyn asked if i heard some whistling tune, to which i said yes, and at that time i believed it was whistled by another classmate sitting behind us. then just today, Merlyn brought this up again, and the other classmate denied that he has whistled at all.

....

stay back? walk back to my car after that?

oh no...

life is created in such that, the new replace the old. no matter how significant the past has been, the focus would be in the future.

so what happens now? in this short life of ours?

everyone is a book. thick or thin, i might be in the middle chapter now. is this the plateau? not the grand opening, not the halfway climax, not the glorious exit.

today, i am just comfortable with the character that i am in. and i need more sleep. :)