now, i feel like being the last person still lingering... clinging at a party where everyone else has moved on. it's not fun anymore, and it gets lonely.

i feel too much and want too much. nothing really tangible, just... just... feelings. all these romantic delusions... that i begged to explore, not wanting to be haunted by "what ifs", only to reach this state of anxiety... unfulfilled... such sourness.

there was never a safety net, at least not for the mind. the motivation was always having a "better place to go". now that too is gone, bubbles never last.

maybe it is better this way, to have exploited your youth, to squeeze dry all your chances, no more room for imagination and nonsense. maybe this is the answer, to all your doubts and questions... about yourself, in this space and time.

don't just look for the excitement, go for the experience, someone says. but let me linger for just a moment more. i too eventually, will leave this party...