9/28/2012 11:29:00 PM / Posted by Meanniee / comments (1)

when you feel down... 

when you think that's the end 

just take a shit

and rock on!

a night, maybe

9/20/2012 11:49:00 PM / Posted by Meanniee / comments (1)

there was a time when we would gather on weekends, play ping pong, hide and seek, ride bicycles, buy ice tubes, sit around a board game for 5, playing away while eating our 20 cents ice tubes.

we broke a vase, burned peanuts with candles, made fun of each other, laughed so hard... that i pee-ed my pants... literally. and you guys laughed even harder.

we didn't know each other well, we didn't care enough, but we know, those were good times. those were the best.

now, i am not my-ten-year-old-self , you are not your-ten-year-old-self, but i miss those five ten-year-olds. i miss us.


9/19/2012 09:58:00 PM / Posted by Meanniee / comments (0)






movie for the week

9/17/2012 10:04:00 PM / Posted by Meanniee / comments (0)

it's a nice feeling when you've watched a good film that struck a chord with your heart, in this case, makes you feel good.

there's not much going on in the cinema lately, but i thought "Salmon fishing in the Yemen" was a good one. it was a drama about faith and love. not much action, besides some salmon swimming upstream. if you're up for a feel-good story, maybe this is your cup of tea.

the long weekend's nearing an end and this is what i need to constantly remind myself.

the last one in a party

9/11/2012 10:21:00 PM / Posted by Meanniee / comments (0)

somedays... i wonder. what is it that i am missing? they say, you will always, always be missing something. be it a person, or food, or a drink, or a smoke, the weather, a feeling...

now, i feel like being the last person still lingering... clinging at a party where everyone else has moved on. it's not fun anymore, and it gets lonely.

i feel too much and want too much. nothing really tangible, just... just... feelings. all these romantic delusions... that i begged to explore, not wanting to be haunted by "what ifs", only to reach this state of anxiety... unfulfilled... such sourness.

there was never a safety net, at least not for the mind. the motivation was always having a "better place to go". now that too is gone, bubbles never last.

maybe it is better this way, to have exploited your youth, to squeeze dry all your chances, no more room for imagination and nonsense. maybe this is the answer, to all your doubts and questions... about yourself, in this space and time.

don't just look for the excitement, go for the experience, someone says. but let me linger for just a moment more. i too eventually, will leave this party...

happiness comes in small packages

9/10/2012 07:56:00 PM / Posted by Meanniee / comments (0)

i thought i would write again if i feel better. but i don't know when that will be, if it will be. so i try to look at what's in front of me, nothing too far off, not even tomorrow.

today there's a small package waiting for me when i came home. wrapped in tainted bubble envelope, is a book. i love receiving packages, even if i do buy them for myself. there's a certain joy of seeing it laying on the table, waiting for me to pick it up, unwrap it, then hold it.

alas, i am being all melancholy again. it was brief, like a gush of wind i was swept up in a moment, even feeling my heart skipped a beat... then... almost as unexpected as it came, the moment passes.