tonight is the night... where all dogs sleep, children dream, and i stay awake. it's a shame, i could use some of this clarity during the day. but now i spent my best hours staring into a monitor, splurging on retail therapy online.

i will feel very bad after this i am sure of it, but i just couldn't refrain myself. sometimes when things are going bad, i dig deeper down. ah well... enough of whining and self pitying. tonight i am letting loose.

isn't it crazy we're approaching the middle of year 2014? it seems just like yesterday when i complained about 2014 creeping up on us. some people may have gone through a whole lot, some may even have life changing experiences... i did not. but it's all good. these days i can't take changes or "surprises" very well. but i hope i do work on some bits and pieces before the year ends... now i just have to work up some willpower. easier said then done.

and maybe start writing something more substantial. all these random ramblings are not exactly positive... oh don't you just hate this word? positive? :)

i am not counting down to anything, and i need to start.... "looking forward" to something now. to a person who is not naturally enthusiastic, this will be a constant effort. a note to myself... "try to enjoy the journey now darling."